how i've been

In order to read this post with the fullest context, I recommend you read the following post.

the seventh star - hotcuppa

in disbelief, lies a garden of thoughts, broken hearts, and wishes never fulfilled... but at the same time, a lesson for the future

As of the time of originally writing this, I'm currently procrastinating on my four exercises of maths homework that's due tomorrow night. I've grown a slow loss of motivation over the past few weeks, breaking habits that have been quite beneficial to me, and falling back into my good ol' spontaneous self.

Some things have stuck though, like having a consistent workout routine (even if it's minimal and only lasts a couple minutes every day). Wait, I think that's it, actually...

great! school...

I've been dealing with this issue for a while. Maths homework. I mean, I put this upon myself. I picked Mathematics Advanced as one of my preliminary courses and yet, I'm complaining about the amount of homework.

I guess I'm just doing it to scale up my ATAR, since I know I'm decent at it. However, I'm definitely not a mathematician.

School has been quite stressful lately. I've been dealing with the ebbs and flows of day-to-day schoolwork, the sheer amount of workload to do at home (although, looking at it from a larger perspective, it's actually not too hard), and having to actually get my life together in order to keep up. Well, that's not easy when personal stress comes knocking on your door and banging into your head.

One thing that I have been getting into more – despite all of school's best efforts to keep me so busy that I'm losing all of my hobbies – is blogging. Yeah, what I'm doing right now. I may not be a mathematician, but I might as well write. It's the greatest thing I can do to procrastinate. Creating for myself, and maybe for some lurkers to read.

update log, i guess

"The ferry went back,

to the place that it came"

- Kevin Atwater, " ferry beer "

It's been a few days since I made that post. It's been radio silence since, but I think I've been able to live my life a little bit more than usual. It sort of feels like withdrawing from someone who made you so happy, but taking the agency back to focusing on what you need to do and what you want to do.

I forgot what it felt like to be "single", despite the fact that I've been single for who knows how long (being in a situationship did not make me feel single). I'd usually feel sad and I still do, but it doesn't feel as "lonely" as before. Maybe, it's getting better. I also have a lot more friends to rely on too, so they've been helping me get through some rather tough times.

I've always been able to cope through music too. Just recently, I released an acoustic album named " Rest Your Case ", an introspective but also situationship-related-adjacent-whatever-it-is set of songs as a way to just get through it all. It's me, resting my case.

Not only that, but I've also made playlists. I'm currently making a series of playlists called "polychromatic", a sequel to my old and probably first organised playlist series called "MONOCHROMATIC". Using icons from Pinterest and dumping whatever songs fit the mood of the playlists, I've made a pretty smooth collection of all of them.

Here's a few of my favourites!

chapter 1 (january)

chapter 2 (february)

recap of this month

Oh, and as per the new tradition of monthly update posts, I shall post a recap of everything that's happened this month.

Moved into my preliminary studies, with courses such as Society & Culture, English Advanced, and Community and Family Studies being the main highlights

Doing "study with me" streams on the Cups channel (just a pomodoro timer and talking)

Everything past "rebuilding what's broken" on " the seventh star "

Interacting more with friend groups

Taking a break from the Cups channel to prioritise mental health and studies

Releasing my acoustic album on a random Saturday, called "Rest Your Case"

time to get back to work!

I wanna make sure I get things done this month, and next month too. Over the next couple of weeks, work is going to start crunching itself more than ever. My assessment tasks are coming in... and, I'm really scared. I hope I'll be able to handle the pressure.

Here's a few of my goals for what I want to do in the future. Not really sure if there's an exact date, but I'd say by the end of this month (or start of next month).

Actually do the habit trackers I set in goals.garden

Get back into sleeping at 9:00-9:30pm

Modify my workout routine to be more intensive than it is now

Do more things for self-care?

Actually do my work instead of procrastinating (like right now)

Find a better way to set goals, instead of always putting them on a blog

Okay, that's all from me this month! Hope you all have a great day, evening, or night!

Signing off,

Davo