i'll never find you again

Originally Published: August 12, 2025

I'll never find you again.

Not in my favourite book.

Not in my favourite movie.

Not in our favourite places.

All the moments. All the memories. All the things that we did.

All the things we had in common. All the stories we shared. All the calls we had.

We'll never get it back. We'll never have what we had before.

I'll never see those eyes the same again. I'll never see that smile the same again.

Like a broken shard from pieces of glass left on the floor. A shard tinted in such a manner it looked like roses, yet now it only looks like my reflection.

It only looks the light I see. The light from the rays of the hot, burning sun.

So even if I kept looking, I wouldn't find anything.

Not a single trace. Not a single piece.

It wouldn't be the same because it never stayed the same. After all the chaos in my head, after all the issues we ignored.

I wouldn't hold that rose tinted glass any longer, almost as if a thorn had grown on it.

I'll miss the days. I'll miss the views. The things we had only for a time.

A snapshot. A moment. A simple DM.

But would it even matter?

If not a simple truth, each moment was a block in time.

Why must I stare at a single paragraph in this book of time, when there is more to be written?

Why must we seek the answers, the meaning, the truth to what was already left in the past?

Is there not more that can be written? More stories to tell? Why linger on a simple story than build another one from scratch?

So, I'll accept the revelation I have greatly stood upon. The peace that I've found.

And take the keys to the palace of dreams and wonder, locking my chamber of despair.

I know that I'll never find you again. I'll never find the same you. But I will always able to find who you are now.

But who you are now does not stand to be the satiation to my longing, my yearning. No blame is to be put upon you.

But for me, I must keep searching because -- I will never find you again. So I will not long for a dream, but keep finding the one who will find me, the same as I found you.

And maybe, it will be okay again. I'll find what will be left after all of this is finally ... over.

just another post for tonight, feeling sort of bummed.

sincerely,

davo